Oh the Clicheness of Fanfiction
by bluewingedangel81
Summary: Basically a bunch of stories of which the brawlers find out that people write those crappy stories about them! I own nothing, of course!
1. Chapter 1

_Hello! It is your oh-mighty, super- duper author, bluewingedangel81-sama! Here is a new story, It basically outlines everything I hate about fan fiction! Also I will update on my other stories, except- 1. I have to study for a Maths test I have after the holiday break and 2. I like writing a bunch of stories at once!But to all those who have favourite me, THANK YOU! Ciao ^^_

Chapter 1: My Eyes! It Burns!

It was a sunny afternoon, our favourite boy Dan was sitting at his computer looking up new challengers on his account on the Bakugan website. There was one from this nerdy looking freckly kid that he didn't recognise- Rank 120. Message: U SHALL DYE! 1111 $#* U; U $$HOLE! 11111111 I HAVE FINALLY MADE IT INTO TOP 200 AND I SHALL KIK UR SORI $$1111.

Dan blinked. OK… he was really in such a good mood, that guy was lucky, man otherwise he would nip over to Los Angeles and DESTROY that dude for even having the nerve to poop on his Rank 1 position. He yawned, bored. None of his friends were online… well except for Shun who as usual wasn't very talkative. Dan clicked on his friend's username and began typing.

**IAMTHENO1BRAWLER- **Hey Man, whatup!

**Silence is Golden- **…

**IAMTHENO1BRAWLER- **COME ON MAN! TALK TO ME! I AM SO $#* BORED! PLEASE! OH PLEASE! PLEASE? ! PRETTY PLEASE WITH SUGAR ON TOP!

**Silence is Golden- **… I don't like sweets.

**Silence is Golden has signed out.**

So much for a friend, Dan pouted like a little kid who had been denied sweets. He opened a tab up to Google search except he didn't really know what to type. He could search up ways to deal with women? Or how to get girls to like him? Or maybe he could watch that video that Marucho had been filming of him kicking Shun's ass during their last battle? It had been posted somewhere on you tube. Smirking, he typed in 'Dan and Shun' on Google search. 147900346 results. He was about to click on the video when something caught his eye. It said Bakugan Fanfiction Archive, KAWAII BISHIE STORY by yAoiFAn2378.

Curious, he clicked on it and began reading. _And then Dan took of his shirt. ZOMG! Like look at that 878437584 pack, OMFG, he is so hot! He is like a $#*ing sex god! But of coarse Shun-kun is much sexier! Hi hed a pack! Then the too got on the bed and-_

Dan blinked, he had been pissed, how could someone say that Shun was sexier than him! His emotions were cut off by the next paragraph that made him choke on his saliva. 'OOOWWWWW! MY EYES! IT BURNS!'

'Is everything alright, dear?' Dan heard his Mom call from downstairs.

'I-I'm fine, M-Mom!' he called back and ripped the phone from the wall next to his bedside table and quickly dialled Shun's number. It took a whole two minutes before Shun's ticked off voice appeared on the phone. 'Hello?'

'OH MY GOD SHUN! OH MY GOD!' Dan screamed. There was a very awkward silence at the end of the phone.

'Wrong number,' said Shun, 'If you're calling the therapist, I'm afraid you have the wro-'

'NOOOOOOO SHUN!' Dan screamed, Shun almost tore the phone from his ear in surprise, 'IT's ME DAAAAANNNN! AAAARRRRGGGH! YOU HAVE GOTTA SEE THIS MAN!'

There was a pause. 'As I was saying the thera-'

'GO ONTO THE INTERNET NOW, MAN! I TELL YA!' Dan shrieked.

'I don't have time for this, Dan,' Shun said sounding VERY pissed off now. I'm supposed to be practising my dragon spinning kick an-'

'THIS IS SERIOUS MAN!'

Shun sighed and agreed, how he had ever got that guy as a best friend, he'd never understand. He turned on the computer, 'OK, now what do I do?'

'SEARCH UP 'KAWAII BISHIE STORY-'

'Dan, seriously, calm down and stop speaking in caps,' Shun said, a vein popping in his head. He couldn't take this. He typed in 'kawaii bishie story on Google search.'

'Then click on the first one, Bakugan Fanfiction.'

Shun clicked on it and began reading. He tried his best to ignore all the text typing and grammer and spelling errors. _–and then they got on the bed and-_

The vein in his head literally snapped, blood flowed down his forehead and dripped onto the computer but he ignored it. 'Wha-What?' Oh even the great, Mr Hotshot was hyperventilating to this. 'But- we're just friends! What do you mean, WHAT? You love ME?'

Shun fainted. Meanwhile on Dan's end of the phone-'Hello? Dude, are you still there?' The phone line went dead.

_Well, what do you think? This chapter was to make fun of yaoi! Next is a cliché school fic. Please R&R! If you are a yaoi fan, sorry if you were offended but seriously, I hate it when people write those crappy yaoi stories that make no sense! And seriously, those stories are only written so fan girls can masturbate to it! Well not all of them but a lot of them do! Anyway, that's all for now! Ciao ^^_


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you for the reviews! 8 in one night! I feel loved! *glomps everyone who reviewed*_

Chapter 2: Stories? About us?

After the previous encounter with Fan fiction, Dan Kuso decided to keep a safe distance away from that website. Shun- well, he had recovered from the shock when he woke up to a very disturbing world of his Grandpa giving him mouth to mouth, and CPR. Let's just say he made it worse. Meanwhile our favourite girl, Runo was on her laptop in her bedroom. It was Alice's shift in her parent's little restaurant and she was bored.

'What's this, Bakugan Fan Fiction?' she said. Maybe it was a new brawling site, she clicked on it. Maybe she could find some powerful people to brawl with. However it wasn't a brawling site. Instead a whole bunch of links came up. Bakugan High by The Future Mrs. Kazami. OK, Runo thought and read the summary. Basically a story where all the brawlers go to high school. Dan/Runo , Shun/Alice, Billy/Julie.

She clicked on the link, basically it was a story.

A story about us? Runo thought. This could be interesting, and she read on.

_Chapter 1_

_OMG. Like, in this really awesome school called Bakugan High, there were three popular girls. Runo, Alice and Julie._

Runo blinked. Now wait a second- when had she ever been popular? OK, Alice was probably popular with boys but that was because she was so _PRETTY. _And Julie was popular because she was just that out going but when had she ever been the popular type?

_They were, like the popular girls 'cause they are the main female characters. And obviously they were, like the hottest things ever. Every, like, in every school fic, there has to be the popular girls that are, like the awesomest! And there has to be the popular guys who are paired up with them. The popular guys were Dan, Shun, Ace, Billy and Marucho! Dan and Shun and Billy all had girlfriends that were uber-hot and sexy- you guessed the popular girls! Dan was dating Runo and they had done it about 15 times. Shun was going out with Alice, even though in the actual thing, they don't like each other that way, all the Shun fans just like to squeal to the sexy couple- because they were just that sexy. And even though they only had one scene where they interacted, I just like to masturbate to the idea of them having black and orange haired babies together. KAWAII DESU NE!_

'Err…' Runo said, sweat dropping. 1. Runo never remembered going to a high school- particularly one named Bakugan High. 2. What? She had been going out with Dan for a while- but, honestly, she has never, ever talked about… the- err… well to Dan. She wasn't even sure Dan had been given the 'Talk' yet. 3. Shun liked Alice? Nah… they don't really talk to each other. AND WHAT WAS THIS ABOUT BEING A HOT and SEXY couple? 4. Orange and black haired babies? Runo's eyelid began twitching.

_And Julie was going out with Billy, they were, like so hot together. Meanwhile Ace and Marucho were kind of lacking of girlfriends. Of course everyone just lusted after them but Marucho was content being single but Ace really wanted a girlfriend. But there was no one that Ace was in love with,_

'_Juliet, oh Juliet! Where art thou Juliet?'_

Runo re-read the last sentence to make sure her eyes weren't going blind. Wait, Ace reading in sort of Shakespeare? JULIET? And also when had Marucho been popular? The other day, she had had to beat up some bullies who had been picking on Marucho's glasses. And no offence to Marucho but he wasn't exactly HOT. As for Julie and Billy, well at least that's one reasonable couple and Ace, well, she dreaded to see how he'd react to this.

Meanwhile Ace was at Baron's place playing Vestel checkers, when he sneezed and sent the tiny red and black checkers flying of the board. 'Geez, Ace, be careful,' Baron warned, 'There's been this dangerous flu going around called swine fl-'

'Yeah, yeah whatever,' Ace said, 'someone had better not be thinking about me behind my back!'

Back with Runo.

_So he had to be paired off with some girl like Mira. The most cliché of ways is to introduce her through as a new girl! And of course the brawlers somehow managed to end up in the same class._

Same class? Runo thought, they didn't even go to the same school. For one Shun lived about 300 km away. Alice lived in Moscow and Julie and Billy lived in Australia. Marucho went to this high class, flashy private school and Dan never went to school because he was too busy saving New Vestroia, as for Mira and Ace, who knows?

'_We have a new girl in our class,' the teacher said, 'her name is Mira!'_

'_Hello!' Mira said, 'I am wearing awesome, rich people clothes, and am only here so to be paired off with Ace. I will join the popular girls at lunch and be declared one of them. I will now go and sit next to Ace so we can fall in love and I guarantee that we will get married in ten years time.'_

_Everyone clapped and cheered at Mira's wonderfully inspiring speech. Some girls-and boys even had tears in their eyes. 'That was the most beautiful thing since- well, since-' _

_Mira went and sat down next to Ace, and as predicted, Ace was, like totally love struck. _

_-End Chapter 1-_

Runo was snorting with laughter as she got to the end of the story. She was about to click onto Chapter 2 when Alice's voice called from downstairs. 'Runo! It's your turn to clean up the tables!'

'Coming!' Runo called back and made her way down the stairs. Meanwhile Alice walked up to Runo's bedroom to take a break. She opened up Runo's laptop, Runo had said that she was allowed on her laptop whenever she felt like it. She opened the Internet up- it was already on a website. 'Hmm… what is this…Fan fiction?'

_Well what do you think? The next chapter makes fun of lemons. And I had to scar myself and lose my eye virginity to make it good so you'd better appreciate it!_

_Ciao^^_


	3. Chapter 3

_Hey readers, I'm just writing to say- I'm not dead and that I have a hiatus on all my stories. I will try to keep writing but school just started for me so I have to do home work first!_

Chapter 3: We-WHAT?

Shun Kazami was awakened at the crack of dawn by the phone ringing. He slipped and fell off the bed. His phone sat right on his bedside table, right next to his left ear. The accursed sound still ringing in his ears, he grabbed the phone. 'Hello?'

'Shun is that you?' came a familiar girl's voice. There was a weird sighing sounds in the background and occasional sounds of someone shouting, 'What? What?'

'Mira?' Shun asked, he had not heard from her in a long time but he was still a little ticked that she had ruined his beauty sleep. He rarely slept and spent most of the night on the roof, blowing his leaf whistle and angsting about how much his life sucked when his Mom died. And when he did sleep he didn't like to be woken up at 4:00 in the morning.

'Well…I-err,' her voice was getting lower and sounded more embarrassed. A boy muttered something that Shun couldn't hear and there was aloud gasping sound, followed by the sound of someone dropping a heavy hammer from a fifty foot building and a loud 'OWWW!'

'Ace, don't punch Baron! And you shouldn't say those things Baron, they are NOT appropriate!' Mira yelled so loudly that Shun almost threw the phone across the room in an attempt to get it away from him. There was a knock on the door.

'Shun, are you up?' his Grandpa asked. 'If you are, get your butt out of there, I have a new twisting motion I want to show you!'

'Hang on a second Gramps,' Shun called back.

'Ooh, ooh, stop that!' Mira giggled at the end of the phone, sending shivers up Shun's spine. There was a very awkward pause.

'Are you with a girl?' his Grandpa asked.

Shun resisted the urge to bang his forehead against the nearest hard surface he could reach. He forgot the phone was on loud speaker. 'No I'm not Gramps.'

'Then get out of there!'

'Just hang on a bit! I'm still tired; I think I'll sleep another hour!' Shun said quickly, shoving his phone underneath the pillow.

'One hour and that's all young man!' the footsteps at his door got softer and softer. As soon as he was sure his Grandpa was gone he whipped the phone out and yelled as loudly as he dared at it.

'What was that Mira?' he asked, not exactly sure that he wanted to know.

'Oh, it was just my pet poodle, Bob,' she replied, 'he was just licking my knees and you know I'm very ticklish there!' she replied.

Shun sighed with relief, 'Oh I thought you were- never mind.' A poodle called Bob? Honestly who calls their poodle Bob? His eyelid began twitching violently.

'Anyway,' Mira continued, 'I just wanted to call, it's really, REALLY important.'

'Well, say it already, I don't have all the time in the world,' Shun grumbled.

'OK, err- you know, you me- well I like you and all as a friend- and- umm, well…'

'JUST GET TO THE POINT ALREADY!'

'Well, it's this site on the Internet, I don't know if you know about it,' she said, 'It's called Fan fiction.'

If Shun hadn't been frozen in shock, he would've slammed the phone down on the receiver right there and now. After the last incounter with the site, he had sworn to stay well away from it.

'Well, it's this place where people write stories… and there's this section about us…'

Shun's hand began shaking violently.

'And, there's this section of fan fiction called 'lemons, or limes' or whatever you want to call it…'

'Well, the site has some very- err- M RATED fics,' Mira said, 'and lemons are, well, they are basically very DESCRIPTIVE words and tend to be very GRAPHICAL.'

Shun began trembling from head to toe, he would've screamed but he didn't want his Grandpa to come storming up to his room again, and dragging him down the stairs to practice some weird White Crane Stance or whatever.

'Umm… Mira, can you stop using those words in Caps, it's beginning to scare me,' Shun said as soon as he found his voice.

'Oh, sorry,' Mira said, 'And they a- BARON YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW WHAT A BLOW JOB IS!'

Shun's eyelid began twitching violently. 'OK…'

'Sorry about that, they are basically porn in words, whatever you want to call it,' she said and that same weird clunking sound was heard. Looked like Ace had punched Baron again, this time Mira didn't complain.

Shun didn't like the sound of this, his hand holding the phone was slowly creeping back to the receiver. He didn't want to hear it but half of his mind fought against the urge. He wanted to know, yet he didn't want to know.

'Are you still there, Shun?'

Shun snapped out of his daze. 'Yeah, sorry- continue.'

'Umm…well I've e-mailed it to you in case you want to check it out, and by the way everyone in Vestal thinks that I'm a total slut and whore since apparently- well you'll see.'

Again part of Shun wanted to see it; the other half was too scared that he'll be scarred for life. Shun had two creatures battling inside him, an angel and a demon. The good side of him didn't want to have his innocence flushed down the drain… wait screw that he already lost that when he read that yaoi fic about him and Dan getting VERY busy. The demon half was demanding to see it and kill the monsters of an author who think up those creepy stories.

Eventually his curiosity got the better of him, (did I mention he hung up the phone?), he opened his desktop screen computer and checked his e-mail and began reading.

By the end of the second paragraph he was twitching so violently, the desk shook. Apparently it was something to do with Him, Ace and Mira having a three way.

By the end of the third paragraph, sweat was pouring from his forehead, his face as purple as an onion, three veins popped dangerously on his head.

By the end of the story, Shun was resisting the urge to punch the computer until it was nothing but a beat up piece of pulp. There was a little message at the bottom from Mira.

_Hey Shun. I just mailed this to you and I also want to check that there is-err- nothing SEXUAL between us. Because you'll always be a great friend no matter what! Love Mira._

Shun's vision became blurry, his head ached, his life flashed in front of his eyes before everything went black. _Please read the author note._

_Don't worry Shun fans he's not dead! He's just fainted and I don't blame him! Anyway this isn't flaming at any particular writer but just at lemons themselves. If you are a lemon writer, (what the hell are you doing reading parody?) please don't be offended by this, it is just a parody. Also some people were very offended at how I displayed my last chapter. OK, Dan/ Runo and Julie/ Billy are official couples. But Shun and Alice aren't, face it fans, they aren't a canon pairing. They don't interact with each other at all except that 'cuddly' little scene where Alice got Shun to learn about his friends or whatever. But they only did that because she's his friend, it wouldn't have been like that if Shun had been brought back by someone like Billy or Marucho? Look, I am perfectly OK with non-canon pairings, it's just that when people call them canon that I get annoyed. Also that last chapter was more making fun of the 'cliché school fic' more than the pairings. If you do somehow write like that, I pity you and I hope you've learnt a lesson or too from it. Anyway 'nough said, I expect a review giving me some feedback or any suggestions. Anything, my dear readers you find cliché about fan fiction or just something you want to laugh at? That's all for now!_

_Ciao^^_


End file.
